


Ten Foot Pole

by reinadefuego



Category: The Expendables (Movies)
Genre: Drabble, Humor, M/M, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-31
Updated: 2016-12-31
Packaged: 2018-09-13 16:20:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9132034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reinadefuego/pseuds/reinadefuego
Summary: While Lee tends to his injuries, Barney develops an itch that needs scratching, and it's driving him mad. Doc's new partner offers a suggestion.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I'd say I was drunk when I wrote this since it's New Year's Eve, but I'd be a liar.

"Stop moving," Lee snapped. He smacked Barney's arm and went back to dousing the open wound with alcohol, making sure it was cleaned out before he pinched the skin together and started stitching it shut.

Barney grunted, the sweat pooling between his ass cheeks was now garnering attention. Even with the paper towel he'd shoved down there, he was still sweating like a pig. "My ass is itchy, I can't help it."

"Well my hands are busy. Use your other one."

Barney lifted his right arm, revealing the plaster cast around his wrist. It was just a minor fracture, but since he refused to stop using his hand, Doc had gotten out the bandages and plaster so he couldn't fuck it up any further. "Can't."

Lee sighed and shook his head. "Poor baby," he said, kissing Barney on the cheek. There weren't many times when they could go the whole nine yards with PDAs, but he could see it in Barney's eyes: he wanted to be doted upon, cared for. "Y'know, if you weren't such a bastard, one of them might offer to help."

"I'm not holding out any hope."

"He still complaining, Lee?" Doc's partner called out. She hadn't shot Barney intentionally, this time at least. "Told you to move, Ross."

"Yeah. His arse is itchy."

Half a minute later, Doc's partner stepped into the tent, with a small branch in hand. "Will this do?"

"What're you gonna do, beat me unconscious?"

She chuckled. It was certainly tempting. "You want me to stitch while you scratch? Figured you wouldn't want to touch him after that bout of food poisoning."

Lee took the stick and let the needle hang from the thread. True, he did need to keep his hands clean, and Barney was sweating like anything. Whatever else was going on down there could be all manner of disease and bugs, none of which Lee wanted to catch. "Good point. Still itchy, darlin'?"


End file.
